Before I get to writing about the rather strange race in Bredene last weekend, I want to offer a brief review of DZ Nuts Chamois Cream, a relatively new product developed by Garmin-Chipotle rider David Zabriskie.

First, I realize chamois creams are not for everyone. In fact, until a few years ago, I never used it myself. But then the UNH cycling team decided to order some shorts with stitching in all the wrong places and I started having, um, comfort issues with my shorts. So I started using chamois cream, which made a huge difference and now, even though I don’t have those uncomfortable shorts anymore, I’m not going back. I’ve tried a bunch of different creams, actually, and somewhat surprisingly, until now, the best results have actually come from two products originally designed for dairy farmers to use with milking equipment. The first is Bag Balm and the second is Udderly Smooth, which you can buy at Trader Joes in a big container for like $5. (Word on the street is that Udderly Smooth is actually selling a dedicated chamois cream now, but I haven’t tried it.)

Anyway, let me just cut to the chase: DZ Nuts, despite its very non-serious name and marketing, is a serious product and a major upgrade over anything I’ve tried. It contains Tea Tree Oil, Evodia, and Masterwort. I have no idea what any of those are, actually, but they seem to work: the stuff has a nice, cool, soothing sensation when you put it on, and it lasts the whole ride (unlike some other chamois creams that break down too quickly for long rides). I’m not going to claim that it has changed my life, but it’s definitely a better product than the alternatives I’ve tried. Which, at $22 for a 4 oz bottle, it had better be.

DZ Nuts and the wink-wink nudge-nudge instructions on the box.

One of the really nice things about DZ Nuts is that they’ve committed to an as-organic-as-possible, as-fair-trade-as-possible product. They don’t use petroleum or animal derived products. They don’t use a long list of mysteriously named chemicals (although, to be fair, they do use an equally mysterious list of chemicals). So you can use the stuff and feel reasonably good about it, even if you’re vegan or whatever (I guess I fall into the whatever category, just desiring stuff I can feel ok about using). Whatever your position on this, I think that making a serious effort to be environmentally and socially conscious is commendable, and it makes me more inclined to spend the extra dollars for their relatively premium product.

Bottom line: DZ Nuts is an excellent new chamois cream and is worth the slightly high price for anybody who wants to properly protect their sensitive nether regions on the bike. For a very detailed review you can visit Fat Cyclist.